Adoption

We are adopting. Those 3 words describe the last several months in a nutshell. We started on this path through a series of providential events.

We have talked about adoption over the last several years, but never more serious than "maybe someday, after our kids are grown". But then one day I was perusing a local Christian bookstore and one book jumped out at me - Adopted For Life. I picked this book up and skimmed a few pages into it and then came the proverbial 2x4 to the head:

I don't know who you are reading this book. Maybe you're standing in a bookstore, flipping past these pages. Maybe you're reading this book a few minutes at a time, keeping it in a drawer so your spouse won't see it. Maybe you never thought you'd read a book about adoption. Maybe you're wondering if you should.

That got my attention, since I was reading this in the bookstore and also trying to hide that I was doing so. I skimmed another few pages and got another whack on the head:

But this book is also, and perhaps most especially, for the man who flinches when his wife raises the issue of adoption because he wants his "own kids" - and who hates himself a little for thinking like that.

This was exactly the way I was feeling (which is why I was even hiding this book from Cristy). I didn't buy the book, but I decided to look in our church library to see what books on adoption were available. The first book to come up was this exact book! I thought to myself, "OK God, you want me to read this book." So I checked it out and read it with Cristy (instead of hiding it in a drawer!). It's message is about how we who are Christians have all been adopted by God the Father through Jesus Christ and thus adoption of children is a reflection of God's adoption of us.

This book really challenged and convicted me that I have been viewing adoption as a second rate option, a last ditch effort, only for those who were desperate. We have fertility issues, but the doctor is sure he can fix it with medication. I had felt like to adopt would be to close the door to having biological children, but this book challenged me to reconsider my thinking. I realized I had been putting my trust in man (the doctor) instead of God! After much prayer and thinking, I came to view pursuing adoption as opening another door for God's blessing of children. In essence, I realized that God is sovereign not only in the number of children, but also in the way they come. So I am certain that He is at work in all this.

So at this point, I was firmly convinced that we should pursue adoption (Cristy was already ready before I was!). So, the next step was figuring out what to do next. We (I mean Cristy - she is excellent at research!) found that there was to be an adoption information meeting nearby. We went and got some information about the adoption process in our state(at least for public CPS based adoptions) and local agencies. After looking through the agency profiles, we found a great Christian agency (they actually describe themselves as a ministry that focuses on adoption/foster care, rather than a "faith-based agency").

So we have been busy for the last several months taking the required training classes and getting minor repairs done around the house (I've rewired the garage to remove some old extension cord "wiring"!). We're getting close to the end of the process - only a few more things to go. Hopefully we'll have a placement as soon as the first of the year!

Changes

These last 2 years have brought a lot of changes in my life. First, after much study, thought, prayer, and debate, I became convinced, nay convicted, of the sovereignty of God and the reality of election from the scriptures, specifically Romans and Ephesians. This lead to looking for a new church home. A few months after we had found a Biblically based church, I found a book in the church's library entitled "Letting God Plan Your Family". After working through this book and the scriptures it referenced, I became convicted to stop all forms of birth control and give the control to God. This lead Cristy to the Above Rubies magazine and website dedicated to seeking God's plan for family. (Incidentally, she is at an Above Rubies retreat as I write this.)

Next, we moved to a new house which is much closer to my work. I've enjoyed having a ~10 minute commute instead of over 30 minutes. We finally sold our old house last week after it being tied up in a short sale for almost 6 months! The mortgage company was slower than molasses in giving us an answer in accepting/rejecting the short sale (due to the dropout in housing from the economy, we were forced to sell for less than we owed). God was gracious to us through this - despite having 2 mortgage payments for 9 months, we are in a better financial state today! In fact, we later learned that the mortgage company (actually the mortgage insurance company) wanted us to pay $13,000 as part of the deal, but forgot to include it in the sale papers (it was not mentioned in any of the closing docs!). But since both the buyers and us had already singed the closing documents, it was too late for them to force us to pay them! So this was a great blessing from the Father!

In February, I went to a men's retreat with men from my church. The theme of the study was on spiritual warfare using Ephesians 6 as the study text. During this retreat I was convicted of the importance of being a man of integrity and leading my family in God's ways. This lead to me considering quitting the counselor we had been going to since before we were married - all 3 convictions listed above are not shared by him, so we were growing quite far apart.

A few weeks after this Cristy and I went to an Above Rubies family retreat in Louisiana. At this retreat, I was further convicted of the need to leave our counselor, and decided to do so when we got back - Cristy was similarly convicted. Also, I was convicted to remove TV from our lives. So when we got home, I erased the DVR, disconnected it, and canceled our TV service. We still use the TV to watch movies (lately we've enjoyed documentaries)  occasionally and play Wii-Fit. Our home has been so much calmer and peaceful since we "cut the cord". Cristy and I have been spending more time together talking and painting (Paint-By-Number is great fun!). Removing TV grew out of the study of spiritual warfare: I felt the TV was an open access point for Satan into our home and family. Right after this, we were blessed with finally receiving a response from the mortgage company that they would accept the short sale (with further negotiations about the specifics)!

I have also been working on having daily family (which right now is just Cristy and me, but Lord willing, we'll add to this) devotionals. This was one of the things we men talked about in our study time at the family retreat. I have been using Daily Light on the Daily Path as a guide. It has a morning and an evening reading for each day of the year. Each reading is a collection of scripture verses organized around a theme. I have also been reading a chapter from Proverbs each day as well as other scriptures as moved.We have both benefited so much from daily reading of scripture and have seen God speak to us through it several times. We recently traded our 2005 Camry in for a 2009 Murano (another significant change!), and during the shopping around for our next car we read Proverbs 23. The specific verses that stuck with us in this were Proverbs 23:1-8, where it speaks of "not desirous of his dainties, for it is deceitful food". This verse ran through our minds the entire time we were shopping and helped us keep from getting overly attached to the shiny cars they put before us.

So, in summary, over the last 2 or so years God has taught me to rely on Him for everything. He has been working in my life mightily and I am excited to see what He brings next (hopefully children!).

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²⁰ Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, ²¹ to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21, New King James Version)